Remember When?

Remember when I said this?

Remember when I said it’s been too quiet at work? Remember when I said it’s been creepin’ me out? Remember when I said it’s only a matter of time before there’s some bullshit directed my way? Remember when I said it’s been like waiting for the other shoe to drop?

Today was my last day in the mail cases. Tomorrow I go back to the sack lifting and keying. I’m not looking forward to it. Coming tomorrow I’ll give you a synopsis of the players. First names only, abbreviations for the truly evil ones. If I can 100 percent verify who you are in person, and I trust you implicitly, I’ll tell you what the abbreviations mean.

I have been reporting to that work area ever since I’ve been back, then they send me upstairs. Today we had a meeting. Our supervisor, Sid, handed out these strips of paper with our clock rings printed on it. Every year they do this thing where they try to take away one of the few rights we have, and every year they screw up and drop it after a few weeks.

You see, we have something called an LMOU (Local Memorandum of Understanding). It delineates finer points that the national contract doesn’t cover. One of these is a 5 minute leeway when you clock in or out before they charge you as late. Management screwed up when they signed off on the wording of this. The way it’s worded, we can punch in 5 minutes before or after the designated clock in time. Management always tries to contend that it means “after only”. They always lose.

We have our little meeting and go back to be assigned to machines. I don’t quite know how it started, but I mentioned that the LMOU says “leeway” nothing about before or after. Of course, this sets Sid off, (Sid is very easy to set off) and he proceeds to tell me how I’m wrong and he’s right.

If I’m wrong and I know it, I’ll back down. If I’m pretty sure, but not positive, I’m right, I’ll back down until I have all of my facts. But if I’m right, I’ll hold my ground as long as it takes.

We go back and forth and it comes to this…

Sid (very riled)…Well, if you think that you can do that you just go ahead and see what happens….now…that’s not a threat…..

Me….It sure sounds like one to me.

Sid….No, that’s not a threat, that’s a Promise!

I turn to my friend Bonnie and go “Oh great…semantics”.

He then used a line something to the effect of “I’ve been here 33 years, don’t tell me what is and what isn’t” Well, it’s like this Sid. If you were here 333 years, wrong would still be wrong. And besides, 33 years is about 13 too many. Give a young guy a chance that needs the money to start a family. Don’t stay in a job because you want a new Caddy every other year and need money to blow at the casinos. And don’t stay in it because you have no life outside of work. Get one.

Just my opinion.

I go upstairs and do my thing in the cases. I see one of the stewards go by (who shall remain nameless in this telling) and lay out my case. He says “Just keep doing what you’re doing, we’ll let them make a move and then we’ll stick it up their ass!” Good times….good times.

At the end of the night I run into a friend who, I found out the other day, has been a steward for a year. I tell him the tale and we talk. Then he says, “Ya know, if you punch in on time and keep your lunch right at 50 units, you can punch out 8 units early and they have to pay you for the full eight hours.”

Huge fucking grin on my part.

So, all this time I’ve been struggling with keeping exactly 8 hours and I don’t have to. This will placate the boss and make me even happier cause I’m getting 25 minutes free a week. See, I’m there early all the time. I don’t give a shit when I punch in, I just don’t want any problems. Well, now it’s time for Bobby to get a lil’ sompinsompin. :)

Another thing that bothered me during the meeting is new “security” measures. I could go very deeply into this, but I’m getting conflicting reports. There is a turnstile system going in at our main entrance. But the Big Brother aspect of it is worse. They will know whether you’re in or out of the building at all times. Also, I hear that entering the building activates your time badge, and leaving deactivates it. So what happens if I need something from my car? Lots of questions.

But the BIG thing that bothers me about this “security” stuff is that two exit doors have new labels on them. They are going to be for emergencies only, but if you need to use them in an emergency, they’ll take 15 seconds to open.

15 seconds can be a very long time.

My scenario is like a movie. They find the bomb, it’s right inside the door, they open it up and the clock says 10. I can cover a lot of ground in 10 seconds, but instead, I’m gonna be 5 seconds dead before the door opens. In the movie, I can see the dust settling and then a CLICK and the door swings open….with my arm dangling from the handle.

Music at work…Jellyfish’s “Bellybutton” / Smithereen’s “Especially for You”

Dead Like Me update….I’ve come up with a story arc involving 3 or possibly 4 characters to start. I’ve come up with lines and a few scenarios for other characters as well. I thought it would be a little more difficult to get the first ideas, but it came to me pretty quick. I may start putting stuff on paper this weekend. I have nowhere near enough stuff to do the whole thing, but I have a lot more than I thought I would just a day or two into it. Lots of notes on the Palm. I think, hell, I know that it’s a lot easier to come up with stuff for established characters than to create those characters yourself. Who knows, maybe some sort of fiction thing down the road.

cya